I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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