hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
