I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
