Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
