Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
