nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
