Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
