My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
sex in a hospital.. check
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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