Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
