sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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