somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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