Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
