I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
