i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
