apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
