Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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