Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
