I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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