put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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