He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
