why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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