we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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