Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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