I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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