and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
