loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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