Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
