Define "chronic" masturbator.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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