Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
