took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
