I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So drunk its hurt
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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