Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
