do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
