Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
