I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm like, not good at living.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
