whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Randomize
