She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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