Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
