both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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