We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
