Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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