Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize