finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
