I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
