do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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