Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
