The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
