I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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