he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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