You really coming over, don't trick.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
