is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize