Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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