Are we in a gay sports bar?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
