I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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