She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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