Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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