nut hugger
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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