I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
