i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
