im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
