Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
