Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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