btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
two words...techno handjob
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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