I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
