Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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