so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
