TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
