i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
